Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Devil's Visit

I wrote this back when I lived in Mankato, MN in 2004...I was doing a devotion on temptation and this is what popped out of my mind...

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The Devil came to visit me foul play on his mind. His misery demanded company—he wanted me in hell. I was a perfect candidate with God as my source of strength. See, Satan thrives on a challenge and he trembled with delight. He saw my faith and trust and he would see me fall.

With a cruel smile in place he slowly started out. Like a cat playing with a mouse—enjoying the foreplay before the final crunch. He knew my weakness, but drug it out for a slow and painful death.
Satan crawled into my head and wound his sharp claws around my mind. Whispering in my ear he began by planting doubt. He said there was no God; I was simply a thing of chance. I heard his whispering lies, but disregarded all. Looking up into the heavens, I knew there was a God. With eyes burning hotter and his grip becoming tighter that devil went further. By twisting my words around he agreed there was a god. But reminded me of the times I had been hurt—telling me God didn’t care. All those unfair hurts and pains I suffered. God obviously  didn’t love me. For a fleeting moment I remembered those bad times. Rejection and fear.     Anger and hurt. Loneliness and bitterness. But quickly I told myself God had been there even in my pain. Or so I thought…

Satan hated my trust—it drove him to fits of rage. And so he took another step and took away my friends. I felt the fate of Lot. I had no one to turn to. I felt so completely alone. I was wounded deeply—my heart bled with all my grief. I cried out to God—how could He be so cruel?? Oh did that make Lucifer proud! Me, questioning the great and mighty God. His hellish face smiled a bit. But he wasn’t done, oh no! This was still the beginning. For under it all, I was still seeking God’s good plan. 

With burning red eyes Satan took my dreams. He took them and he smashed them. All I had ever hoped for. My hopes, and all my dreams. They shattered all to pieces and it made me very bitter. How could God do that? Why did He abandon me? I thought it was His will. My trust in God grew weak. In anger I beat my pillow. With tears streaming down my face, I shook my fist at God. My love for God grew cool. My back began to turn.

One more step and I would be the devils. Oh how happy he was! He was successfully bringing me down. My human mind thinking God no longer loved me. The demons threw a party for becoming one of them. They spit on me and taunted me and lashed out bitter words. I couldn’t see them, but I could feel them. Their bitterness. Their hatred. And yet...I didn’t turn away. I stayed with those evil demons and deeper I sank into their depths of gloom.

As the devil began to play his last card I felt a little tug. Just a cool sip of water. A warm gentle touch. That whisper on the wind. It was just so very tiny, but that is all it took. And little by little my God called His child back. Back to his arms. Back to His love. The love, I realized, that had never really left. I had been the one to leave, when doubt had first ensued. I forgot the Holy Word. And I had turned my back. When I felt alone, I forgot Who was my faithful friend. When my dreams disappeared, I forgot to see His bigger ones.

So although the Devil may visit, and sometimes seem to win, God is more powerful than Satan, wiser than myself, more loving than the angels...and in the end, God always wins the war. God is my life, and in my heart He lives. 



Bethany
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Disclaimer:
In order to protect myself from people who might take any information I have written out of context or use it in any way I do not intend...I must say the following: I am NOT a doctor. I take no responsibility for what you do or not do with any information I have written. My opinions and writings should not take the place of a  doctor...consult one of those if you need medical advice. Pretty much...please use common sense and I strongly suggest you do your own research as well. It's empowering!



Copyright 2012 By Bethany Kay McGough. Originally completed in 2004.

4 comments:

  1. Wow Bethany! I've been there too but never put it I
    Into words. This is very moving! So glad we're not only blood sisters but sisters in Christ and that we always have our amazing God!

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    1. Glad you liked it. :) And yea, words cannot express how grateful and blessed I am that my family are believers. Love you!

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  2. This should be published and shared. So moving, and SO VERY DEEP and so very real. Thank you for sharing such a raw experience. I'm sorry I was one of the friends to neglect you during this time....good thing our God is forever faithful and won't ever let us down!!! Love you!!!

    :) Sister Deb

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    1. This WAS a really hard one for me to share "to the world". But it really means alot that you said it was moving...since it's so close to my heart I just can't tell how other people will respond to it. And ya know...I'm just glad we're back to being connected. Love you!

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